Crazy with guilt
by SakuraCherryBlossomKokoro
Summary: Hi! So this is my first H.T.E. story. The inspiration came when I was watching it for a second time at the 3rd episode. I hope you like it. This story will be a little emo at times but not to much. Anyway have fun. R&R guys cause I need it :P
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hi! So guys as I promised this story contains spoilers. This story starts from the sixth episode, after Fukuchi-san died. Sayama-sensei doesn't come.

Also when I don't write whose POV it is it means it's Ainosuke's. Okay guys have fun. The begining might seem emo but it's not after...well a while. So just have fun :))

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><p>Chapter one<p>

Fukuchi-san died. It was his fault. Against his better judgment he told Fukuchi-san the truth and now as a result he is dead. It was his fault so many people died. His and his alone. And now Kato-san is curious as to what he talked about with Fukuchi-san. Yeah right like he could tell anyone that his brother had planned all of this. His brother, his beloved brother. He is so tired to fight against him, defy him. How can he continue? I can't. It was the thought that passed his mind. Why should he anyway? Yes he saved peoples lives but in the end ruined them as well. So many people got hurt because of him. Well not just because of him. And his brother. He sighed. His once kind, understanding and helpful brother was his number one enemy now. It hurt so much to even raise his hand against him, to try and hate him for all he has done. Was that kindness all just a lie? Why? And if not then what changed? He sighed again. If only he had answers. He was so helpless. His brother would be laughing at him if he knew. That cold and evil laugh. Even that changed. His brothers laugh was once warm he himself would laugh if he heard it. His own brother told him to kill him. Why? Is that what he was supposed to do? Is that the reason this is all happening. No. He wasn't that important.

Three months; he said. Ainosuke almost laughed. In three months he will be able to kill someone as a cold-hearted murderer. Was three months the limit to his normal life? Well not exactly normal anyway. And then he felt it. His left eye. The reason he could defy his brother and stop his plan. His brother probably thought it was his doing alone, how wrong he was. Well no one could see him now to question his sanity. He sat up and looked at the wall beside him. It was made out of ceramic so it would probably hurt enough to activate his left eye. And without further thoughts he hit his head with all his might to the wall. Images flooded his mind more so than before. He wondered through the mist of images why was it now that he was given extra information, why now when he didn't need them or particularly want them. Was it his brother's sadistic way of thinking?

Images of the previous cases, the bombing, a new bomb in a chimpanzee toy, a shopping centre but what surprised him most was the image of him being taken away by a man. He was small than, it was probably around the time his parents died, eight at max, probably. He was being kidnapped by a man with a cross scar on his left cheek. He realized he knew the man but couldn't remember where from. The next image was of a bloody chisel. He wondered what could be the connection between the images but the next on answered his question. A box of chisel with his name on it. And then it was over. He wondered about the image of him being kidnapped. He wasn't aware that it has ever happened. If it had how could have he forgotten. The man did seem familiar but when he tried to think about it his head hurt more than he could imagine. He hit his head against the wall again so that that the pain should disappear but to his surprise it only brought new images. Image of his landlord planting a bomb in the museum and in the chimpanzee. Another with him being kidnapped, one where blood mixed with something white, the bloody chisel and one with a newspaper add that had random sentences. But that wasn't what made it interesting. No it was the fact that the first letters of each sentence together formed a word. And with that the vision ended. He stood and grabbed his notebook. No matter the sorrow he would solve this last mystery. He started to draw. He had to draw every image before he started to think about doing anything else.

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><p>AN: So how was it? I hope it was good. If I jumped from first person to third please tell me cause I noticed I did. So review please.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So I hope you liked the first chapter. I know it may seem as through Ainosuke is dealing with everything so easiily but he isn't. This is still Ainosuke's POV so remember that it is other character's POV only when I write it specifically. Enjoy!

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><p>Chapter two<p>

It had taken Ainosuke an hour before he had drawn each image. It saddened him more that even the landlord worked for his brother. But he thought about each image carefully. He avoided the one with the kidnapping knowing that it wouldn't help him now. The previous cases, kidnapping, the wedding, the music. He saw them in a different light. Calmly he thought about each one. Was it supposed to have triggered his memory? And the bombing. There will probably be a next one in that shopping centre and the bomb will be the chimpanzee toy. It will happen in the near future probably. So he should warn Kato-san. Nut now he had to think about other things. The newspapers add seemed so useless but it was probably the key of it all. The body swapping. Was it truly only that? It meant that the body was hidden and he knew that that was important to somehow. He had to think about it from different perspectives. Why would the add be important. It probably wasn't. So that meant it was only a template. But of what? The cases? But that couldn't be, could it? The reason for each case was forming one word. But he had to try no matter the reasons. He had wrote each case in the order they happened. The word didn't make sense, so maybe it wasn't true? No it had to be. Maybe he was missing something.

He had tried for a couple hours involving the case that had yet to happen. The word was almost done. He knew it. He was missing one detail. He had tried with each image now. And he stopped at the chisel. The word was complete and made sense. But why their old hiding place? Why?

Well it didn't matter. He would find out. But now he had to call Kato-san to tell him about the chimpanzee. He dialed and waited.

'Moshi moshi? Kato-san? It's me.' He said.

'What can I do for you Ainosuke-kun I am a little busy.' Kato-san said.

'I just wanted to inform you that there will be another bombing at the shopping centre. The bomb is a chimpanzee toy.' He said.

'Are you absolutely sure?' Kato asked.

'Yes it's my instinct. Please trust me. Also I think it would be easier if you didn't alert the shopping centre for it will only cause chaos. It would be easier if you went on an undercover mission.' He patiently told the detective.

'Alright I will head there immediately with Sakisaka.' He said and ended the call.

"Well at least I know where brother is." He thought bitterly. "Won't he be surprised when he finds out I have figured it out already." But now he didn't have time for that. He had to hurry and get to the hiding place. That place probably holds the answer. Well one answer because this will probably get more complicated as it continues.

He dressed up in black skinny jeans a white shirt and a black waterproof jacket. He had a black cross necklace on but it was hidden by a black and white scarf. His newly pierced left ear was decorated by a cross shaped earring. His shirt sleeves were a little longer and reached his fingers.

He closed the door behind himself. He had his black and white back-pack on that contained his sketch-book a lantern some water and a pocket knife. He had acquired the last one after his brother's visit. He left the building telling the landlord he would be back later.

He took a train to the outskirts of town where they once lived. It wasn't a long walk from there to the cave that was their secret hiding place. He entered the cave taking out the lantern. But with every step he took the worse his head ached. It was painful but he knew that this was the answer. He went and went until he had to lean against the wall for support. He became dizzy with pain. The world was spinning around him. And that was when he saw it. A little box in one bigger hole of the cave's wall. He knew what it was immediately. It was the chisel box. He made his way over slowly, lifted it and put it on an almost table shaped rock. He opened it.

The first thing that he noticed was that one of the chisels was bloody. The second was that it was his box from the year in which his parents died. None of the other chisel were missing. He thought about the image with the man and his head hurt even more. He hit his head against the rock so hard that he would probably get a concussion later but it didn't matter. Memories flooded his mind. The one thing he had forgotten. The time when he and his brother were kidnapped. The first time his brother had killed and it was for him. He remembered everything and at last he understood. These cases were all meant to trigger his memory.

When he opened his eyes however he saw images with his left eye again. One with buildings, one was a layout of a building and next to it a hole was dug until under the building, another with the landlord yet again planting a bomb, and the words "domino effect". And the last one was of a date of release for a prisoner whom he knew. This one was easy yet difficult, he might even end up killed but it didn't matter anymore. He drew them even if he knew what he had to do. He would stop his brother this time because he wouldn't be playing in his hand.

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><p>AN: So that's it for the second chapter. I hope you liked it. Please R&amp;R because I will post faster if I get many Reviews:D<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

AN: So as you see this is a two minute chapter and I'm sorry it's so short but it was needed and there was no need for prolonging it. I hope it enlightens you as to what my goal is and as to what Yumehito's true feelings are. Enjoy!

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><p>Chapter three<p>

Yumehito's POV

I had just deactivated the bomb. It was strange when Kato-san asked me to accompany him to the shopping centre where I knew the bomb would be. When I asked why he told me my little brother informed him that there is a bomb here. Well not that I didn't know really but I wonder how Ainosuke found out. Well we found the bomb and I had to of course deactivate it because Kato-san couldn't. And it would have taken longer if we waited for back-up to arrive so I deactivated it. Wasn't hard but Kato-san was amazed. I think he's growing on me. I wonder how he would react if he knew I was behind all of this. Probably would faint from shock.

Ah Ainosuke I wonder if you had figured out my plan already. Probably not. I'm sorry little brother but I have to do this. One day I hope you will forgive me. It is so hard to fight against you. Every time I look at you and see your vengeful eyes I know you can't forgive me. If only you knew that I did this all for you. I am doing this for you so that no one threatened you anymore. You will have enough money to survive and I will die. It will be my atonement for everything I did. The plan is perfect and flawless so everything will go as planned.

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><p>AN: So it's over but next one will be longer. Just so you know I already finished the story so don't worry about not seeing it complete. Also I apoloogise for the late upload but my laptop didn't want to pick up wireless signals and was screwing with me-sorry for swearing- so I couldn't access the internet. I will Upload as soon as you review :P<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

AN: You guys peobably hate me. I'm sorry I'm such a review wh*re. I hope this chapter will be good and you'll like it.

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><p>Chapter four<p>

It was the 19th of May. It was a warm day, well warmer then usual. It was the day I was waiting for. Probably my last day to live. A week ago I discovered brother's secret, his plan. It was perfect indeed and his only mistake was giving my left eye the cornea, his. Today is the day that Ikeuchi Kazuya was released from prison and the day I would confess to him that me and my brother killed Ikeuchi's little brother.

I understood my brother's plan so perfectly now. I had a week to understand it anyway and I did. I knew that brother expected Ikeuchi to take a hostage so that he will find out what happened to his little brother by demanding the police to take me to Ikeuchi. Then I would have confessed in front of everyone that me and my brother dumped Ikeuchi's younger brothers body in a site under construction that is today on of five buildings that would be destroyed by a bomb if I let them dig under that building, but I wouldn't.

I was in front of the prison from where Ikeuchi Kazuya would be released. Dressed in a black shirt with black skinny jeans and a black waterproof jacket. I had a black backpack with me which contained the chisel box, a towel and my sketchbook. The cross necklace was on and so was the cross shaped earring. My cell phone was in my pocket and I was waiting for Ikeuchi to be released.

I had been waiting for fifteen minutes when I saw him walking out of the building. I stood from the bench I was sitting on and made my way over to him. He was alone, thank god.

'Ikeuchi-san, come with me please.' I said and started walking to an isolated place. I was a little surprised when he had actually followed obediently. He was probably informed by that lady that is with my brother all the time. We reached a secluded area where there were trees and such. I stopped and turned around. He was looking at me curiously; no hint of fear what so ever.

'Ikeuchi-san before I tell you who I am or what I want to tell you I want you to stay calm. It is for no other reason but the fact that you will most likely misunderstand or not even hear the end otherwise.' I said and waited until he calmly nodded. He was too calm to do anything irrational such as kidnapping even if it was about his own brother. They would have probably given him that damned bracelet or whatever that thing was to act irrational.

'I am guessing that you know my name, but I am not entirely sure so I will tell you anyway. My name is Tanaka Ainosuke and I believe you were informed by a woman that I know something about your little brother. Am I correct?' I asked when he hadn't responded.

'I guessed you would be Tanaka Ainosuke, so what do you want to tell me?' he asked in a calm voice.

'I guess I want to tell you about what happened after you and your brother kidnapped us. I think you remember. Anyway after you left and all that you were informed that my parents died, correct?' I paused and waited until he nodded. And then I continued.

'After you told your brother that my parents were dead I guess I started crying so your brother threatened to kill me. I don't know if he would have and sometimes I wish he had but…' I took a deep breath and continued. 'After that my brother managed to get free… took my chisel…and…stabbed …' I whispered the last part, a lone tear escaped my eyes. '…your broth…brother.' After my statement the tears continued to fall. I looked up and through the haze I had seen that Ikeuchi-san was on his knees, crying silently. It took a minute or two calm down until I spoke again, my voice was horse.

'After that we…dumped his body under a building that was under construction at the time. I am sorry it happened I know what it is like to lose a brother and I truly am sorry. I know I can't do anything to help what you are feeling but I want to help. But I also want to tell you that in order for your brother's body to be retrieved they will have to dig under the building…' this was the first time he interrupted.

'And why would that be so terrible? Because it would be expansive? My brother is dead and you are saying that I can't even give him a proper funeral?' His voice almost shouted.

'Unfortunately that is what I am saying…' this time I was cut off by a punch. Oww that hurts and it will leave a bruise. Oh well if my plan works it won't matter.

'Let me explain.' I said and raised my arms to surrender. I waited until he nodded and then continued. 'I want to give your brother a proper funeral and it's not money and I could care less about the building. It's just that if I inform the authorities of it I will be playing into my brother's hands. I know it's hard to understand but my story in short is that I'm trying to stop my brother, whom I thought was dead from well destroying…well Japan. You see if they were to dig up under the building it would be the perfect opportunity to plant a bomb and you have heard as well that there have been bombings. My brother's plan is to destroy the last building which is a high security building that basically contains Japans information on computers and that is where it is commended from. It's hard to explain but if you do act like that you will be playing in the hands of my brother and …' I paused for a moment to swallow. This was hard to say but I managed in a whisper. 'And then your…brother's…body…would be lost…in…the explosion.' I stammered out. I swallowed again and continued. 'I know it's hard to believe but it's true and that's why…' I trailed off as I reached for my backpack. I opened it and took out a chisel from the box.

'And that's why you will kill me?' he asked uncertain and unbelieving. I smiled sadly and shook my head. Tears were starting to gather again.

'No.' I whispered my voice thick with unshed tears. 'No you see the only way I can atone for what we did is if I let the older brother…' I trailed off as I handed him the chisel. 'If I let him kill me.' I said in barely above a whisper. Still my voice was determined. 'My only request is that you stab me in a place that will take about an hour until I die. I need to say good bye and confront my brother.' I said and looked at him determined. I put the chisel in his hand and wrapped his fingers around it with the help of my hand. Meanwhile I unzipped my jacket. I wanted to make it less obvious. 'And my only wish in return is that you build a shrine for your brother and not tell the authorities. I know my life isn't worth as much as your brother's was but please accept this as well in a twisted way payment. I beg you not play into the hands of my brother because nothing good will come out of it.' I said as I opened my jacket so he can stab me.

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><p>AN: And suspense Cliff hanger or whatever and this time I'm uploading everything so please continue to read and I hope you'll like it.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

AN: As promised Chapter 5 is up and only two more to go. Hope this chapter will be to your liking as well.

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><p>Chapter five<p>

Yumehito's POV

It was almost ten and I had just been released from work. I was tired thou I have to admit it is fun to play at both sides of the party. Tomorrow my plan would probably take its final stage. Tomorrow Ainosuke will have to remember something he shouldn't. Oh well it's for the best and it is a key point of the plan. My phone starts ringing in my pocket I look who it is. As they say speak of the devil and the devil shall appear, well in this case call. I answer putting my mask on, even through he can't see me I don't want to slip up.

'Well to what do I owe the pleasure little brother? Came to the conclusion that it is best to kill me? And quicker then I anticipated.' I say holding back a sigh.

'I want to meet you. Right now.' He said and told me the name of the park we played in when we were little. I wondered what he would want. There is no question that I am going. I head to my car and drive to the park. It took me merely five minutes.

I see Ainosuke sitting on a bench. It's dark but how can I not recognize my own little brother. I approach him, my mask in its place, a confident and cool aura around me. I would dare say cocky too. I sit next to him. He knows it's me without looking up.

'I am very curious as to why you called me here now.' I asked cockily.

'I beat your perfect plan.' He stated calm. Calmer then I had ever seen him.

'Of course you did.' I said not believing him for a second.

'You see you made a mistake. Of course you are not aware of it. Yet.' He said and he handed me a sketchbook. I looked at him for the first time puzzled.

'Open it.' He simply stated. And I did. Inside there were many drawings, all of them related to the previous cases. I stopped looking at them to ask.

'You beat it with drawings? Or do you want to impress me?' I asked a hint of amusement in my voice. He sighed.

'Just continue looking at them.' He stated. He sounded as if he were bored. I obey him and keep turning the pages. Then pictures of things from my plan that have yet to occur are drawn down. "How did he know?" I ask myself. There are other things to like words written down.

'How?' I simply ask not wanting to slip up. There was no way he knew.

'You see your mistake was giving my left eye sight again. It's not like either of us planned it so but.' He trailed off musing over a thought, yet I still couldn't comprehend.

'Again, how?' I ask impatient. The little brat just loves make me look stupid.

'All those images, I saw them with my left eye a little before they occurred or when they did. I wouldn't bee able to stop you otherwise brother. You gave me the weapon to stop you and you didn't even know.' He mused. Then I understood. They were images I had seen and he saw them too.

'Of course I needed to get punched or hit in the left eye and that was a pain but everything has a price.' He sighed.

'So how come you saw this? I wasn't planning it until tomorrow.' I asked.

'Of that I am not exactly sure. I know I didn't want or need them at the time, but they came. Then I thought about Ikeuchi-san and my head started hurting. In order for it to stop I hit my head against the wall. Then the images came again. It took a few hours to put together most of it, but I didn't understand until I visited our old hiding place. My head hurt when I tried to remember what happened and I hit my head again. Hard. I saw the rest in the last vision, if you'd like. It wasn't hard from there.' He said. I was very proud he figured it out so fast but I couldn't show it.

'Did you remember through?' I asked calm, but inside I was basically biting my nails.

'After almost cracking my skull what do you expect?' He said. I looked at him and saw he flinched when he sighed. He probably had a hard time remembering. I did too. I almost went mad from guilt. I don't regret through. He always will be more important so I don't regret what I did. I only regret the fact that he remembered. He spoke up again in a much softer tone.

'I am sorry you had to do that. I am sorry aniki. You had to kill for the first time because of me. And I didn't even remember. I'm sorry you had to go through that alone.' His voice broke. He paused for a second but continued. 'But that not give you the right to make so many lives miserable. You might have not killed anyone directly but so many people suffered. And for what for making me remember so I can tell the police where the body is? Well I didn't either way. Your left eye made me remember anyway. It would have been easier if you would have kidnapped me and forced me to remember. No one would have been hurt. But that wasn't what you wanted, was it nii-chan? No, you are a crime planer right? You wanted to make me run in circles and in the end it still would have been my fault. The landlord-san won't be installing anymore bombs either. I called Kato-san before you came. He arrested him. He probably won't say who he is working for but still…it's over…nii-chan…your plan failed…but tell me why you did it…outside from the obvious…fact…why?' he asked, a small amount of urgency in his voice. I sighed, well I might as well tell him anyway.

'It was to make sure you will be safe from others. From Noriko and her old partner. They were interested in you, us. I wanted to make sure they die before…' I stopped. I won't tell him I was going to commit suicide.

'Before you died yourself if the plan was perfect?' he inquired. Damn the brat for knowing me so well. My thoughts were interrupted when he spoke up again. 'I am glad that you would go to such an extent for me. You shouldn't have, but I am glad I was right and that my brother still exists. Thank you baka nii-chan.' He said. I waited for him to continue but he didn't. I stood and started walking away. I heard a small thud behind me and I looked back.

To my utter horror I saw Ainosuke sprawled across the bench. In the light I saw blood spread on the bench. I froze for a second before I ran to him while taking out my cell phone to dial an ambulance. I dialed and quickly told them our location also told them to bring blood for a transfusion otherwise he probably won't survive.

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><p>AN: So I swear I end every chapter with a cliff and someone is hanging on it, yep I'm a bit off a sadist making my versions of the original characters suffer oh well. Excuse my blabber mouth it's pretty late. So see you at the next chapter.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

AN: So another short part on Yumehito's POV. Bear with me because the next chapter is coming.

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><p>Chapter six<p>

Yumehito's POV

While I waited for the ambulance I inspected the wound further. It was probably made with a chisel. I shuddered as I realized what Ainosuke had done. He also had a small towel pressed against the wound before his consciousness faded. He planed this he also wanted to say good bye. I realized yet again that my brother still cared for me. He also wanted to make sure. I check his pulse and I almost have a panic attack before I feel a weak pulse. And another one. Thank God he's still alive. I hear the ambulance a minute before I see it. As it stops and the paramedics rush out I step aside and tell them what I can to help them. I ride to the hospital with them. They say he might need surgery and I tell them I'm his only relative, his brother.

We arrive to the hospital and they take him in surgery. I think about everything that happened. I grab the bloodied scrapbook from his bag that I took with me. He truly draws fascinatingly. It's beautiful and detailed. I regret not spending more time with him. He is such an extraordinary person. Someone worthy of all the attention he can get. I am so sorry. It is my fault.

An hour must have passed or more when I saw the doctor coming out from the operation room.

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><p>AN: I swear if I don't kill the characters in this story the'll die of a stroke anyway. This was the last cliff hanger or do you write itt together? cliffhanger I really don't know. Oh well See you in the next and last chapter.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

AN: So last chapter. So weird. Oh maaan now I'm getting emotional. Nah not really. Anyway I love this chapter and no not because it's the last one but because I described something in detail and it turned out great. And no I didn't mean it as my first try at describing something but it's my personal favorite. Can you guess or maybe it's to easy.

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><p>Chapter seven<p>

I was sleeping probably when I heard my brother's voice.

'Shh do you want to wake him? I would love to see him open his eyes but still.' He said. Than I heard teacher's voice.

'Oh hush. It's not like I'm going to wake him. Beside he's been out for a week and I didn't even know where he was. I'm still mad about that by the way.' She said.

'What?' I heard my own voice for the first time. They both asked me the same question.

'You're awake?' Lucky they didn't shout. I slowly opened my eyes. I was in a hospital obviously and alive unfortunately. I wanted to die yet I was alive. Funny thing how the opposite happens 90% of the time. But what surprised me was that brother was here with me. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes.

'What were you thinking?' They interrupted my thoughts yet again and this time they were really close to shouting.

'I don't know how about stopping you from going through with your plan. Atoning for my sins. What are you doing here teacher?' he asked. He couldn't ask his brother.

'Sakisaka-san informed me about an hour ago. He was here with you for an entire week. I hear he took time off from work.' She said.

'Sensei could you leave me alone with Sakisaka-san for a while?' I ask her. I sent her an apologetic look and she nodded. After she left the room I asked aniki in an uncertain voice.

'Why am I alive?' I should have died back there.'

'I can't let my little brother die in front of me now can I? What kind of older brother would do that?' he asked. Tears started slid down my cheek.

'Aniki.' Was what I said before unconsciousness claimed me again.

When I woke up hours later I saw aniki sitting in a chair beside my bed. He was sleeping and his hand was clutching mine. He was talking in his sleep. At first it seemed like an incomprehensible jumble of words but when I actually paid attention I could understand what he was talking about and my heart almost broke.

'I'm sorry little brother, I'm sorry Ainosuke.' He said over and over. It hurts me so much to know that he is suffering. I felt something wet slide down my cheeks and I realized I was crying. If only brother knew that no matter what he did it wouldn't matter. Even if he were a coldblooded killer it wouldn't matter because he would still be my brother.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt something moist against my hand. I realized my brother whom I thought was incapable of feeling was actually hiding behind a mask all this time. Before I couldn't really believe him, but know… Then everything came crashing down. All the repressed feelings, the guilt, sorrow, pain, anguish, everything just came down. I turned my face, screamed into the pillow and cried. I choked on sobs trying to make as little noise as possible as to not wake my brother. It was in vain through for I felt a hand gently lifting my face, making me turn to him. He looked at me, sorrow in his eyes as he pulled me into a hug. I broke down then and there.

Brother comforted me telling me everything will be okay. I was vaguely aware of the fact that brother was also crying. When there were no more tears left to cry I looked up. I didn't know how long I was crying or how long I was up but when I looked out the window I saw that the sun was rising. From my room you could see the sun rising from behind a building, reflecting in the river. It was a magnificent image of buildings painted in orange, sunlight reflecting from windows, the rays of sunlight penetrating the spaciously spread clouds.

It was then I vowed I would start anew. A new life with my brother whom I won't let slip from my reach again. We will be a family again and I will do whatever I can protect our happiness.

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><p>AN: So did you like it. Do you get why I love it. It's a great chapter if I do say so myself. Oh and did you like the picturemoment I described. Hope you did.

Anyway as I said this is/was the last chapter but I don't think I'll write a sequel because I feel the story is finished. If you'd like I'll write a sequel but if so I really could use ideas.

Bye


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